Thursday, June 23, 2016

Denying Men Sex Ruined My Life: Learn From My Experience

Hello Laila
I have been unlucky with men and i dont know if i am cursed or if I am the cause. Initially, way back in school, I usually dont get involved in any sexual relationship because I wasnt brought up that way. My mum always inspect our hymen monthly ever since me and my sister started menstruating. I was brought up in a strict religious family and my dad was an elder at the church. my mum was always telling us that being a virgin was the best way to attract a husband destined by God. Although she stopped doing the hymen check after sometime but I took that believe into adulthood and sadly I lost a lot of men due to that decision. No man who came into my life stayed above 6 months once they werent getting sex.

Only one guy from my town managed to stay with me up to a year plus before my lodge mate seduced him and they are both got married in less than 3 months. I couldnt stop blaming myself because he actually told me that he cant marry a woman who he has not slept with but I didnt know he was truely serious about getting married. I guess he got what he wanted from her and had to move on.  That was the turning point in my life because I felt i have finally met someone who loved me. I was shattered when he left me. I grieved and even attempted suicide. i was almost going crazy because the girl in question was staying in my lodge and I had to deal with seeing them both every other weekend when he would come to visit her. I moved out to another place. Few months later, I heard they were married and friends and hostelites attended.  It took me months before I recovered from that trauma and I learnt one vital lesson from that. I blamed my mum for misleading me into the virginity stuff. I lost my virginity to the next guy i dated during youth service. That was in 2012. Its been 4 years now and i have slept with about 7 men who I dated between that time and non of them is talking marriage. I am lost at why my life has to be this way. I have been good and that cost me my best years, I will be 33 by September without any reasonable relationship. My mum who caused this is now on my neck insulting me at every giving opportunity because I am single. I am writing this in so young girls will learn from my experience. Thank you

TILB:
My dear. I dont know much about this but I can authoritatively tell you that living a chaste live especially for unmarried females has more advantage than disadvantage. Your case is isolated and does not apply generally. That being said, No two situations are the same. I want you to stop getting worked up. You must use your head in your own dynamics. No two men are the same and no two relationships are same. Treat each relationship with the realities that it brings instead of trying to find a model that works every where. Be patient and zip up. your man will surely come

from Nigerian: Breaking News In Nigeria | Laila's Blog http://ift.tt/28R44gW
via IFTTT

No comments: